Realistic or Quick Fix?

Recently I addressed a group of professionals that, when it came time for Q&A, did not differ a great deal from the common questions of those not in the workplace.  This is particularly true when it comes to various so-called “self-defense devices” sold on the market such as mace, pepper spray, stun guns, TASERS and the like.  It seems everyone…everyone…wants a “quick fix” to their personal defense and safety.  Unfortunately, there is none.

Years ago when my mentor was contracted by one of the national news companies to go into one state prison system and survey 1,200 convicted rapists (the real experts), we came up with some very interesting information from these men, some “common denominators” if you will.  When asked about these various devices, the general rule of thumb seems to be two-fold: (1) anything in the home used for defense when you have prior warning (window breaks, dog is barking or growling, etc) is one thing: (2) anything that has to be retrieved from pocket or purse on the street when the attacker has the element of surprise is another situation entirely.

The other thing that needs to be understood about these devices is that they fall under the category of “technology.”  So what electronic or mechanical device do you have in your home or at your office that works as it should 100% of the time?  I think you get my point.  One CHL (Concealed Handgun License) instructor I know will on occasion purposefully give a gun he knows will jam to someone going through their certification training.  Why?  Because he wants them to understand this is a reality– guns jam.  But honestly any and all of these devices have their potential faults. 

Understand that these devices were created for military, law-enforcement and security professionals as a means of non-lethal (except for a gun) defense when they have (key phrase here) PRIOR KNOWLEDGE walking into a bad situation.  They were not made for the general population when someone jumps out from behind the car next to us and says “BOO!”  Adrenaline takes over quickly as the “fight or flight” response dictates our next moves.

No matter what the device (new ones seem to be coming out daily), keep this principle of technology in mind.  It can and very well may fail you when needed most.  My suggestion is making the most of the greatest survival tool known in the animal kingdom– your instinct.  I say this not just for the case of prior warning when trouble is brewing, but what you actually do if confronted physically.  There is no instant answer, this takes cultivation, provocation and soul-searching to know what your limits are and how or “if” you can meet or exceed those limits.

I am not against various “enhancements” to personal defense, though the above may seem to suggest so.  I just want to provide a reality check when it comes to their reliability, especially when under pressure to use them.  Before you just spend your money, spend some time thinking about this.  A true, realistic response takes both psychological and physical training– not quick fixes.

Jeff McKissack

Just last week one of my student’s ex-girlfriend was brutally attacked.  While stopping off to simply gas up her car at a local station, she was attacked by three men and pulled into their car.  Over the next 24 hours she was held captive at one of their homes and repeatedly raped.  The following day, with some sliver of conscience still left in one of the attackers’ heads, one of them drove her to a local hospital and attempted to simply push her out of the car at the Emergency Room bay where the ambulances are parked.  The perpetrator obviously did not know there is a police presence at these ambulance bays for any potential problems, so he was apprehended on the spot.  Now police are in search of the other two attackers.

When my student showed me a photo of this young lady, I was even more saddened.  This young 20-something girl was absolutely beautiful with a huge pearly-white smile.  The attackers broke all of her front teeth.  Even with any corrective procedures that will now take place, the emotional scars that will remain will do so for the rest of her life.  Even if she was not so beautiful, the tragedy would be the same, but anyone looking at her “before” versus “after” appearance could not help but be further saddened.

Now this is a tragic story, obviously, but what is my point in relaying it?  She had just left a “nice” club heading to her “nice” apartment building after having a “nice” evening out with friends.  It is so easy to lull ourselves into a false sense of security when everything seems “nice.”   This could just as easily been a different environment where a “nice” guy dressed in “nice” clothes and driving a “nice” car approached where all the “niceties” where personified versus simply environmental, but the point is still the same.  No matter how “nice” the environment or “nice” the person we don’t know approaching us (her attackers were anything but nice), we can never afford to let our guard down, especially when traveling alone.

A few weeks ago, I was speaking to a lady friend of mine who told me she has always made it a habit when leaving the grocery store, mall, etc to look around 180 degrees upon exiting the doors of whatever her location.  Bravo!  I wish more would take to this philosophy.  Awareness is absolutely essential to safety.  Unfortunately, we let our guard down when things appear to be “nice.”

The above story serves as a tragic and sobering reminder of what happens when we take places and people for granted.  But do not let this young lady’s tragedy be in vain.  Learn from it and make sure are never taken off-guard with a similar situation.  Trust your instincts.  Beware what appears to be “nice surroundings.”

Jeff McKissack