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Recently I was speaking with a mother of a 15-year old son.  She was saying to me, “You know, we think just because we have sons that they automatically know how to defend themselves.  But that’s not true, is it?”  The link on the right included with this story answers that question with a resounding “NO!”

As you look/listen to this story, note the following elements:

• Element of surprise on the attackers’ side
• Attacks to the head and face
• Simultaneous attackers vs. attacking one-by-one

So often our view of personal defense comes from movies and TV.  In these situations (a) the good guy/gal always wins, and (b) attackers never come at them together, but isolated one at a time.  Even a casual surfing of YouTube where street attacks caught on camera are concerned puts these myths to rest.  When people attack it is no different than animals attacking, they are vicious and they “swarm” their prey.  There are no trophies, no titles, no cash prizes for whoever walks away…you just pray you have the opportunity to walk away.

The other thing this story points out is that personal defense is not just for “ladies.”  Like the mother mentioned earlier, we “assume” our young men know how to defend themselves.  Wrong.  And if not trained to do so, how then later in life when they have a wife and/or children will they defend them as well if called upon?  Answer:  They won’t.  Over the last 4-6  months, I have seen several cases in local and national media involving violent attacks where men fell victim to other men (usually more than one simultaneous attacker).  Our best boxing, wrestling, and even most “martial arts” programs do not address these street scenarios.  It takes a very different type of approach, one that recognizes you are not facing a fighter - but a predator.  This latter character operates vastly different from the former.  They have no sense of honor or fair play that is taught to our young people in their various school sporting programs.  Often they have little moral instruction at home, and therefore no reservations at all about inflicting serious harm to their victims.  In fact, many find that an enjoyable element of their attack and take pride in the pain they inflict.

This blog is simply meant as a “reality check” as I think we need these every now and then to set the record  straight.  And, again, it breaks our type of training out of its normal stereotype for women-only.  Everyone needs at some point to undergo a little training like this of some type or the other.  And for those of you thinking this is something just for “ladies” — think again!

Jeff McKissack

Just in the last week of meeting and interacting with new people I’ve come into contact with, practically all have had “stories” of near-misses or other similar instances where there was a “feeling” that kept them out of harm’s way.  I constantly hear these when people find out what I do, but I always enjoy hearing them nonetheless.

Though everyone had a different scenario to relay, phrases such as “I had this feeling” or “something just told me” or “something inside of me said” as part of their early-warning internal system.

So why is it that if this is so intrinsic in each one of us that we still tune it out or turn it off entirely?  Well, the reasons are fairly common stemming from “it’s just my imagination” to “I’m just being paranoid” to “I can handle this myself” (the latter being the fatal tendancy of men).  This is why for years I always enjoyed teaching kids, especially younger kids.  They were still very much in-tune with their instincts, they just simply did not know how to process the information with their minds yet.  This is why time and time again I have told parents of young children, listen to them if in doubt.  Not only are they probably correct, but you don’t want to discourage this process of them listening to that “still small voice” inside that later in life could very realistically save their life!  This goes as well for those cases of sometimes “pushing” affection upon children.  If little Mary or Johnny do not want to kiss Aunt Bessie or Uncle Joe goodbye or give them a hug - do not force this.  Again, you are instilling a practice that could have disasterous results in their teen or college years when being approached by someone for something as simple as “a little kiss” but later lead to much more, if not something exploitive.

Time and time again, it comes down to the instincts.  This is true for physical responses as well.  When I am teaching the more ballistic responses to a physical encounter, it is not with a plethora of fine motor skill techniques that must be memorized and practiced again and again to perfect.  Rather it is with short, quick, explosive training that the instinct readily responds to and is much easier to internalize for possible, later use.  You’re not going to “remember” anything in a true physical encounter.  The “fight or flight syndrome” coined long ago by psychologist Hans Selye will kick in - you cannot help it.  In those moments, the mind takes a back seat as the most primal nature of human genetics steps in to intervene on your behalf.  Any physical training you seek for personal defense should be along these lines, not what you see via movie martial arts and wire work for film.

If you ever heard it said in your life, “Trust your instincts,” that is probably one of the best bits of advice you will ever be given.  Whether in life, business or personal defense, all roads lead to this very simple and typically successful strategy.

Jeff McKissack

This has been a very interesting week for call-ins interested in seminar training.  This month I’ll be addressing one senior citizen group at a church with 100-150 seniors in attendance.  I’m discussing the various “cons” and scam artists today’s elder citizens face as they seek to protect their life savings.  Later the same week I’ll be addressing the same topic on CNN Radio here in DFW on one of the financial investment shows targeted at seniors.

At the first of September a group of judges and courtroom professionals have booked me for a seminar at the courthouse to better equip them to handle potentially dangerous situations.  It makes sense when you understand that no matter what a judge’s decision, at least one party is not going to be pleased with the outcome and may not then be pleased with the judge who made the ruling.  Is it just me, or does anyone remember the days when we actually “respected” authority?!

And as a final interesting call-in, one group of veterinarians are interested in me doing some training with them.  Why, you ask?  Are their animals getting out-of-hand?  No, their OWNERS are!  Seems people do see their pets as children and if something happens while the “parents” are on vacation to little Spot, or the doctor doesn’t get to their “little one” as fast as they think the doctor should in an emergency, some owners of the pets are more than losing their cool, they are taking it out on the vets!

This all goes waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay beyond the “norm” as far as who we think we have to be concerned about related to our personal safety, maybe with the exception of our seniors being scammed by con artists.  Still it shows where our society as a whole is going…which is in the “hole.”

All the more reason to take advantage of training “now” as things do not promise to get better any time soon.  An ounce of prevention is still worth a pound of cure, and better to arm yourself now with the training that will allow you to both assess and avoid threatening situations.  As an old asian martial arts instructor visiting the U.S. years ago told my class when I was just 17, “The first step of self defense is… ‘no be there’…!”

Jeff McKissack, Instructor/Speaker