For those not in the real estate profession, you are probably not aware that this month (September) is “National Realtor Safety Month.”  For those in the profession and in Dallas, you might be seeing me this month as I make my rounds to several large offices in the area.

This week alone, I have three presentations in real estate offices.  Next week, several more.  So why is this such a hot topic for realtors?  Well, other than two realtors here in Dallas/Fort Worth who have been murdered in recent years, realtors have a very unique job description in that they regularly hold “Open Houses” where total strangers can walk into a house they are showing and/or realtors regularly schedule appointments to meet total strangers in isolated locations (i.e. vacant homes) at odd hours of the day, night and weekends.  Add to this the fact that realtors are constant “moving targets” as they go about their daily duties and you understand why they are seeking a bit more education where safety is concerned. 

Apartment Leasing agents are not too far from these same job descriptions (and I do hear from these on occasion as well regarding concern over their personal safety), but this is National Realtor Safety Month - hence this blog post.  I have developed a three-month course specifically designed for realtors in addition to the standard one-hour presentation I currently offer.  The expanded course is for three months, meeting just one hour per week.  The primary goal of this course is to ingrain basic, gross motor skills for survival into the average realtor.  We’re not doing anything “fancy” in these sessions related to fine-tune motor skills such as joint manipulation, locks, restraints, etc. nor are we doing any high-level kicking (not that I’m a fan of that anyway).  Again, this is about primal, gross motor skill movement.  If you wish to relate this to anything, call it “Caveman & Cavewoman Defense 101″ and that would pretty much give you the idea.

The first two months are empty-handed skills with the final month left to address (and not in any exhaustive way) the topic of weapons.  This is about covering up, using your environment and understanding your environment, silent movement, distraction, basic striking and kicking and using those things around us (vs. purchased) as weapons — with weekly psychological and strategic ideas specifically geared towards realtors.  Even concerning striking, we are talking about more the use of elbows and open hand slaps, clawing, etc vs. actual “punching” as most people not truly skilled in fighting will probably break their own hand vs. do any significant damage to their attacker(s).  This is down-n-dirty street type defense, but it is what “comes out” of a person when the primal instinct for survival is challenged.  Don’t believe me?  Just watch any supposed black belt when attacked by 3-4 guys and see how much “technique” is employed from the dojo, dojang, or ring.  I can save you some time as I’ve already seen it myself – none!

Unfortunately, this program is only available in the DFW area, and I’ve already received interest from two real estate offices in “hosting” this course at their locations for realtors in their area come January, so be on the lookout if you are both in the industry and in the area.

I have for years had a great deal of empathy for those in this profession, especially since the murder of Sarah Walker in July of 2006 here in McKinney, Texas, who was stabbed 27 times at the Open House she was hosting.  The very week following, the Home Builder Association of Dallas had an “emergency meeting” with custom home builders in the area that they asked me to address.  I was referred to them by the DFW Realtors Association, already familiar with my work.  Since then, I have spoken to many, many offices in the area.  And with constant turnover of staff in this industry, I make my rounds every year, but don’t mind at all.

Whether you as a realtor are looking for the basic one-hour presentation for your office, or the more expansive (but not “expensive”) three month course at just $20 per session, please feel free to contact me directly for more information.  I hope that this month’s emphasis brings greater awareness to lessen cases of realtor attacks and this blog post gives a little assistance to that emphasis as well.

Jeff McKissack

Annie Le

Most by now have heard of the tragic murder of Annie Le, the Yale graduate student set to be married on the day her body was found in the laboratory on campus.  Now a custodian that worked at Yale has been charged with the crime.  My question is, “Does this surprise anyone these days?”

It has been said that “homicide” is now the leading cause of death of women in the workplace - yes homicide.  Compare that to the typical roster of health issues that are typically cited when men die in the workplace like heart attacks and once again we see the huge gap that separates the concerns of women in the workforce vs. men in those same positions.

While university officials would like to brush this over as already they are (correctly) stating that “This could have happened anywhere,” the fact is it did happen at one of the bastions of higher learning in this country.  This is a campus where parents spend enormous amounts of money to insure not only a top-notch education for their children, but to insure their safety.  Obviously many parents with sons and daughters at these ivy league institutions will now be rethinking their investments.  Whether a student, faculty member or staff member, most people would expect a higher level of safety at Yale, Harvard, Princeton, etc.  But are they really right in doing so?  Is it truly the campus administration to blame here?

This immediately brought to my mind years ago when my mentor, Ken Wooden, was at Princeton University and successfully lured some 12-15 male and female college students into a van, not with a gun or knife, but simply with a good story.  I recall in particular him asking two girls he lured at the same time what their SAT scores were upon entry to Priceton.  One perked up and said “1340″ and the other one proudly announced “1290″ as they hopped into our van.

At what point are we going to learn that “crime prevention education” does not stop at the sixth grade?  Most “safety programs,” however, do just that.  The proof?  When was the last time you saw a talking dog, puppets or coloring books used at the junior high, senior high, collegiate or professional level?  “Oh,” but you say, “We still educate our students, just not with those tools.”  Really?  Again, please show me the programs, speakers, etc that are going into these higher levels of education and profession doing so.  I’ve been in this field for some 20 years and I haven’t seen or met them.

Of interest were comments made by those who knew Annie Le regarding her research and writing on violence and crime prevention - yet she became one of the very statistics she wrote of.  Also, one of her professors made a comment on the news that “I know that she put up a fight.  She was not the type to simply be a victim.”  Really?  Now that a suspect has been named, the only physical evidence of a struggle were “scratches” on him.  There were no bruises, broken limbs, stab wounds, gun shot wounds or any other serious injury - just scratches.  I’m sure Annie put up what she considered to be a fight, but obviously this was not enough.  Given most self-defense classes I’ve seen demonstrating choke holds, wrist grabs, etc it comes as no surprise to me that Annie was not sufficiently trained to handle such a situation.  I am sure that due to the identity of her murderer, he also had the element of surprise on his side.  But still, scratches are our only physical evidence of a fight.  This is why we must seriously rethink what we are teaching in the name of “self-defense” when these attacks can be so vicious and visceral.

My intention here is not to play “Monday Morning Quarterback” on what Annie could have done.  That opportunity has unfortunately passed.  Her tragic death now serves as yet another cold reality check for us to take in and use to re-evaluate our own personal strategies when faced with violence.

Prepare for students, parents and the media to now look to campus administrations for tighter security, more patrols, more cameras, more panic buttons on campus and in classrooms.  Prepare for everyone to look in every place but the one where the answer truly lies — in the mirror.  At some point we have to take personal responsibility for our own personal safety.  At some point you have to learn to “Be Your OWN Bodyguard.”  And that’s exactly what we are out to equip people to do.  Who is first?

Jeff McKissack

A few weeks ago I was invited in to one of suburban city courthouses to conduct training for the personnel there.  The judge who initiated this had seen me on the Channel 5 News piece a few months ago and thought one of the BYOB events would be a good idea for those at the courthouse who can sometimes deal with unpredictible people(I’m being euphamistic here).

The training was received extremely well!  One of the people I spoke to there was a jailer at the Tarrant County Courthouse who spoke to me about the risks they face as jailers walking into an environment where weapons are not allowed, but the risks are very real.  In our daily lives we seldom think about the lives and professions of others, let alone the “risks” involved with their professions.  Another lady approached me saying how beneficial the training I offered would be to one particular state law-enforcement agency.  We’ll see what happens with that, but the compliment I think speaks for itself.

So what was so unusual, unique, beneficial about this training event?  It was honestly no different than any other BYOB Party/Event I offer - seriously, I altered nothing.  But the thing that always strikes people is the “relevance” of the information and training.  For whatever reason, it seems that those who have gone through some type of training that was “labeled” self-defense did not have much relevance.  This goes back to what I’ve said before regarding what is “sport” vs. what is “street” related to application.  This is why I was so complimented by the reactions of those at the courthouse that day.  These are people who daily have to evaluate relevance and truth, yet not only enjoyed the training, but are now referring me onto their colleagues.  Wow!

In the weeks and months ahead, the BYOB Parties & Events are getting more and more momentum with gyms, women’s clubs, women’s conferences, singles groups (co-ed), churches, etc.  And the more I and those that work with me get out there and do these, I think you’ll be seeing even more BYOB Events.

If you or a group you belong to is looking for something fun, unique but also highly instructional and beneficial, then maybe you should consider one of these BYOB Parties/Events as well.  And if you see one of these being promoted to your group or in your area, be sure to attend.  While I think you’ll greatly benefit from the training, simply attend and you be “the judge.”

Jeff McKissack

It is always amusing to me when people bring up firearms as the and-all, end-all answer to personal defense.  Clearly that is not the case for the simple reason that you cannot take your sidearm with you wherever you want to go.  Just consider some past examples.

Luby’s Cafeteria, October 16, 1991:  One of the more infamous mass murders in U.S. history.  While many have aruged whether or not any patron would or could have made a difference if armed, the facts remain the same.  In fact, one survivor did have her firearm that day - in her truck.  Whether or not laws should be altered to allow citizens to carry firearms in public restaurants can be debated back and forth, but the Murphy’s Law lesson here was that no firearm was “available” that day to make a difference.

Virginia Tech University, April 16, 2007:  Certainly one of the more infamous recent mass murders in our history, the Virginia Tech incident is yet another example cited by those regarding more liberal CHL laws as they argue once again how much more different this story could have been if someone that day would have had the ability to “shoot back.”  But they didn’t, so this again shows how Murphy’s Law comes into play and no firearm was “available” to make the case, one way or the other.

No matter how you feel about gun ownership, these instances are just two of many everyday happenings involving 1:1 citizens or mutliple attackers faced in restaurants, malls, nightclubs, etc where guns are simply not allowed, but violence still occurs.  Personally, I believe every law-abiding citizen has the “right” to own a gun - just not everyone should be given the bullets along with them (lol).  In a rather humorous example, even Sherriff Andy Griffith only gave his deputy, Barney Fife, one bullet in the old TV show - and for good reason, I’m sure if you remember Barney’s character.  I know lots and lots of Barneys today, how about you?

At gun shows, which I often exhibit at, I see people put off a very high sense of self-confidence in their ability to protect themself and their families - with a gun.  But if that gun were not available, jammed, ran out of bullets, etc I wonder how high that same level of self-confidence would be if the encounter was mano-a-mano.  I love a quote by Gavin de Becker, one of the world’s foremost criminologists who said, “Though we live in space-age times, we still do so with stone-age minds.”  When backed into a corner, we resort to our most base primal instincts, fight or flight.  In these “moments of truth” if you have been trained and I mean really trained how to use a firearm (and have one at your disposal) you will undoubtedly have an advantage unless the other side is equally or better armed.  If, however, you have not been properly trained for adrenaline response or do not have that firearm available, what would be your probable outcome?  That is all I am asking you to ask yourself.

We rely so much on “quick-fixes” in our society, ranging from weight loss to personal defense, that we’ve lost our ability and our responsibility to do the mental and physical homework necessary to insure our safety and well-being.  I equate “taking a pill” for weight loss to “buying a gun” for personal defense.  Might it work?  Maybe, but not for everyone in every situation.  The “higher road” is to do the real work we all know is necessary, but comes with a higher level of time commitment.  But most are looking for the “pill approach.”

Again, do not misunderstand me, if you choose to own a gun or choose not to own a gun that is your choice.  I have no qualms with either position.  I just ask you to question “why” it is that you would own one and maybe even if you truly have the means, training and most importantly will to use it properly if called upon to do so.  Such responsibility is like giving a statement outside of court and attorney approval, it “can and will be used against you” if you do not have the necessary skill and intent to act.  Lots of people talk a good game when the threat is not immediately upon them, but are the first to flee or freeze when it confronts them.

So to those who constantly ask me about gun ownership, I still remain neutral if not “mixed” in my opinion.  But regardless to all I would say and suggest that you always have a “Plan B” if the gun is your “Plan A” or that you actually seek a good “Plan A” that does not allow for the escalation or execution of lethal force with your firearm then a far-distant “Plan B.”  Just know that gun will not always be there, and you cannot take it everywhere that a physical threat might occur.  Guns do jam, they do run out of bullets and they can be taken away.  These are instances in which “CHL” can leave you “SOL.”  Buyer beware….

Jeff McKissack

Look familiar?

I get a lot…a LOT of ladies that call, email or approach me asking questions about self-defense for women. Obviously I have a strong feeling that every woman should avail herself at some time in her life to such instruction, be it the psychological and/or physical training.

But when asked, “What do you suggest” this is where I typically make a radical departure. I understand that not everyone knows what to look for when choosing a good self-defense program, so here are some suggestions of what to look for in a program:

• Does the training you’re looking for offer a “trial period” to allow you to see if it’s a fit or some one-time reduced cost to test those waters?
• Does the training you’re looking for have a history of catering to women, or are they just “riding the wave” of such a program’s popularity?
• Does the training facility exhibit trophies in the window or studio (i.e. more “sport-minded”)?
• Does the instructor cover the psychological elements of prevention as much as the physical elements?
• Does the instructor require an investment of uniform, sparring gear, etc (i.e. “sport-minded”)?
• Does the training always take place inside a nice, matted facility or do you ever go outside the facility?
• Do you feel “pressured” to make a decision the day you first come in (red flag)?
• Do you feel “pressured” to sign a contract for a year or more of instruction (big red flag)?

These are just some helpful hints to put you on the right track in finding a place that will cater to your needs, not the school or instructor’s needs.  You’ll note I didn’t get into what style/system is taught.  In truth, there are some “traditional” schools and instructors who have broken away from the norm and now include more reality-based training, so I won’t hinge your training on the name over the door.  But, again, if trophies are obviously a major decoration in the place, that gives you a good sense of what is taught, no matter what is being said or sold to you– it’s probably sport-based.

Be leary of the contract process.  I understand and sympathize with those instructors who have “brick and mortar” operations and must pay for their overhead - but that is their overhead and their responsibility, not yours.  If the contract or “agreement” (as many like to now call it to lessen the psychological and financial blow) requires a lot more time than you feel you can invest (i.e. year or more) WALK AWAY…and if that doesn’t work, in true “self-defense” mode — RUN!  You are the client/consumer here, so maintain that status.  Do not extend yourself beyond your time commitment or financial means.  Even if it costs a little more to go month-to-month, that is still better than signing up for something you later wish to leave.  This, too, can betray the true intent of an instructor.  Who’s needs is he/she more concerned with if this is the process by which they do sign-ups?  The answer should be clear.  The reason I put so much emphasis on this is that this is what leaves a bad taste in the mouths of many that others like me have to deal with later on when people are interested in our instruction.  It’s the old “once bitten, twice shy” idea and it hurts those of us offering legitimate instruction that is consumer-oriented versus instructor-oriented.

Related to programs, there are some styles/systems that do have a greater emphasis on self-defense than others.  You might see names such as KFM, Krav Maga, Systema, etc online and in advertisements that have more of a street or military application.  Again, test the waters, sign up for an intro class, etc to see if one of these will be a fit for you knowing that not all will.  Some other systems such as Ninjutsu, Kali, JeetKuneDo (JKD) and others might also be worth your investigation. 

But it’s not so much about the “name” as it is the “instructor.”  I have many parents that ask me about martial arts instruction and I tell them the same, even when looking for a sport-based system.  It comes back to the person you are entrusting to relay life-saving information to you.  A quick 15-20 minute interview with the instructor related to their background (not their “black belt” background, but their experience in teaching self-defense) will tell you most of what you need to know.

I hope the above will help you if looking for a good program.  The advice above is certainly not exhaustive, but I think it will at least give you some good guidelines for evaluation.  If you have  more specific questions, feel free to email me and I’ll throw in my additional $0.02 without charging the $0.02.

Jeff McKissack